It’s been a while since I’ve actually took the time to sit down and actually write a proper blog or to simply vent on the various things currently weighing on my mind, as opposed to just tweeting single sentences. Sometimes a sentence just isn’t enough for a person like myself who has so many things that needs to be said, that my mind can no longer comprehend and my fingers just not fast enough to type each thought down.

I would sit down with someone to talk things through, although that one person isn’t here at the moment. His currently overseas most likely lazing on the beach or out with his family drinking Margaritas endlessly till the Sun goes down and most possibly, no wait, most definitely until the Sun comes back up again. I can’t wait for his return. I just need to sit down and talk to someone without judgement and without fearing that what is said will leave the room and travel from one persons lips to another ear just like Chinese whispers. 

Where to begin?? Like I said there’s just too many things going on in my head from life to family to getting married to having a family to being a mother to getting healthy to keep my mind on that goal and the other and that other goal to going back to work to finding another job where I’m happy to filtering the people in my life but the one that stands out from all, ignoring people who always have something to say about others but can’t take 2 seconds to step back and look at themselves.

There has been too many people lately in my life that have nothing else to do but to make other peoples lives and way of living their number one concern when really they should be looking at themselves first and their family. Like my Mum and Dad would always tell me “Anak, wag ka magsasalita kung anong bagay kung sa huli kakainin mo lang ang sinabi mo” Basically what that means is to not be a hypocrite. 

I know I have had my moments, but hey we’re only human and from our mistakes and experiences we learn and that’s what helps us to grow and to become that better person our parents have always wanted us to be. But what I don’t understand is that some people clearly can’t see that what they have to preach to others is clearly something that relates to them. Do they not notice the things that they say are in correspondence to their own actions towards others and even worse possibly towards family?

Another thing. Respect. They always say to respect your elders but what if they no longer respect you or your parents? I’m pretty sure that’s more than enough to step over that line to say something to them. But guess what .. apparently not.

On a brighter note, I can’t wait to travel back home to my motherland. To re-kindle my love with my family, friends but most of.. all the lifestyle. I miss waking up as the Sun says goodbye to greet the night with my beautiful friends from around the world then to find ourselves saying goodbye and goodnight as the sun comes back out to play. It still amazes me though that majority of my friends back home are from other parts of the world. I do have a few friends whom actually live there, but the rest live there as their getaway from the “real world”.

To sit down with them and just talk about things we all have same interests in and then to be able to just sit their in the non-awkward-silence. I miss that. Mainly I just miss being happy and carefree and not a stress hair at all. If anything I just miss being surrounded by people who are real. Ones who are not afraid to confront you with things that they have to say to your face rather than tell others about it yet still act like they’re your friends making you look like a fool. Seriously, this isn’t high school anymore yet the drama seems to increase the older we get.

Someday, one day soon (I hope) all will return to the way it use to be. Minus the ones I no longer need of course. Until then I shall deal with these thoughts someway or another. xx